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Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Douche, Turd Sandwich

Shit. Once again, our choice at the polls devolves to

  1. Douchebag
  2. Turd Sandwich
And the mainstream political parties wonder why we don't give a flying fuck about them. Well, you idiot fucking douchebags, if you actually gave a shit about what we thought then we might be willing to support your candidates, even while still knowing that you're disgusting fucking douchebags. Frankly, I think at least some of the Founding Fathers would think we're a bunch of pussies for tolerating this bullshit instead of exercising our voting rights, first, and the rest of the Bill of Rights as necessary.

Endowment Life Member, National Rifle Association

Obama

You know, it's become dreadfully apparent that I'm as dense as the depleted uranium in a M1A1 tank's AP rounds. All these people are chomping at the bit to get out there and vote for Barack Obama. I just don't get it. The man has virtually no track record on anything. He hasn't been in federal government long enough to have a track record in his drawers, much less his voting record.

To boot, what we do know about him may be even scarier than what we don't know about him. A rather unusual turn of events, but the ascension of BO to the leading light in the 2008 Democratic Party must be described, also, as a rather unusual turn of events. Much to the consternation of Princess Clinton.

We're talking about a man who selected as his mentors dyed-in-the-wool 1950's era Communists. A man whose wife couldn't find it in her self to be proud to be an American until her hubby was doing well in the primary elections. A man who spent 20 years in the church of one of the most virulent racists who's not a member of the KKK, electively. He may not have known Jeremiah Wright was a disgusting piece of shit when he joined the church, but if he couldn't figure it out in 20 years then do we really want his fucking finger on the fucking button that could fucking turn every fucking one of us into a fucking wind of fucking neutrons? What kind of fucking idiots are you fucking people?

Altruism, Part II

In retrospect, altruism may, ironically enough, be the single most selfish act a human can perform.


STFU
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